A Bird, A Pidgin, And My Butt

Monday June 13th.  I walked to work today, meaning that I left the house to go to work, which happens sometimes.  It isn't far, only 1.7 miles, I've done it many times but this time was different.  I was wearing new shoes and work clothes.  I stepped on a dead bird (by acciddent).  Thats a good way to break in new shoes.  About a mile into my walk down a busy street I heard a whistle and a man hanging halfway out of the window of his orange and primer grey sedan.  He yelled "mam!"  I turned to look.  "Your dress is up."  It took a minute to register, partly because I was annoyed that he called me mam.  I swung my hand around and felt my rear end, no skirt to cover it.  I took a deep breath reassuring myself that it was no big deal, I was wearing cute underwear, this is Hawaii and underwear aren't all that different than wearing a bathing suit.  I continued walking, a little faster now.  I noticed the shadow of a man from the corner of my eye.  "Are you a greaser or something?"  Thoughts flash though my head as he matched his pace to mine.  I wonderd about the last time that I washed my hair, no, that's not what he was asking me about.  It was the shoes and clothes.  I turn and look at him.  Tribal tattoos covered his whole face.  "No, I'm not a greaser, I'm just going to work," I replied.  Then I smiled and said hi, because I didn't want to seem like the sort of person who is shocked by facial tattoos.  I am that kind of person.  "Is it a greaser thing to walk around with your ass hanging out?" he asked with a smile.  I searched the depths of my mind thinking about any movie that that could have ever happened in.  "You noticed," I said, because really, what do you say to that?  By this time I was almost to work, two more streets to cross.  "Are you a dancer?" he asks, looking me over.  I shook my head no.  "What do you think of my style?"  Honestly, I hadn't noticed.  His facial tattoos were too distracting.  I looked him over, black converse, blue plaid shorts, red shirt...generic?  "Oh, so now you are checking me out?" he said.  This wasn't going anywhere.  "Nice meeting you" I smiled and inhailed, holding my breath.  I was finally close enough to work to pretend that I was there.

Poor little guy